Daddy,
my heart is aching tonight. I have been hanging out with some new friends at the pool a lot lately and have blinded myself to their ignorance of You. How could i have done that? Tonight was a huge call out to me to step up how i present You to other people by how i live. I have to admit that lately i have been falling pitifully short. That will have to change. If others did not grow up in church like i did and even then it took me to decades to fully get You, then how am i supposed to think that they know anything about You? How i live and present You with my life might be the only glimpse of You they will every get. help me Daddy I am drowning here.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Move or be moved?
So lease runs up at the end of the summer God. What should i do? My rent is going up and is really getting into the not affordable range. Do you want me here or another apartment or somewhere else? I am happy wherever You are. Let me know so i can start taking those steps with You. Until then, my hand is in Yours and i am standing right by Your side and not leaving it. We saw what happens when i try to make my own plans.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Nick.
Daddy,
I have loved being able to talk more to Nick lately and be encouraged by him because he is always so upbeat and happy. But he needs some encouragement right now. His dad is home this weekend and he doesn't always so a good job of be encouraging or supportive of Nick. In fact, he can be the opposite and Nick is really down and discouraged by his dad's presence which is not how it should be. Will you please show Nick how percious he is to you this weekend God? And help him to look to you for support, affirmation and comfort because you are the giver of all of those things and the only true supplier. Help him to see his dad through new eyes. Help him to be loving even when his dad isn't being loving to him because Nick knows you God and has felt your love and presence and his dad hasn't. Show Nick what you see when you look at him, not only who he is now, but who you know he will be. Thank you for Nick God. He is such a greta friend and has always stuck with me even when i treated him badly and was not a good friend to him.
-Me
I have loved being able to talk more to Nick lately and be encouraged by him because he is always so upbeat and happy. But he needs some encouragement right now. His dad is home this weekend and he doesn't always so a good job of be encouraging or supportive of Nick. In fact, he can be the opposite and Nick is really down and discouraged by his dad's presence which is not how it should be. Will you please show Nick how percious he is to you this weekend God? And help him to look to you for support, affirmation and comfort because you are the giver of all of those things and the only true supplier. Help him to see his dad through new eyes. Help him to be loving even when his dad isn't being loving to him because Nick knows you God and has felt your love and presence and his dad hasn't. Show Nick what you see when you look at him, not only who he is now, but who you know he will be. Thank you for Nick God. He is such a greta friend and has always stuck with me even when i treated him badly and was not a good friend to him.
-Me
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
My Little Heartbeats.
Daddy,
there are so many young ones in the youth group that tug at my heart. Girls like Catherine, Ashley Nix, Maci, Maria, Ashley Forester...they are young and seem filled with broken hearts, and hurts and fear. I see a little of myself in each of them and it brings me joy and brings me to tears at once. I long to help them through this time because i longed for someone to help me through mine. I am just at a loss as to how to help them. I pray for them and i try to spend intentional time with them individually and as a group, especially picking out the girls who seem to need extra attention.
I love Catherine in particular. She has so muchness to her. So much passion and energy and excitement. She can overdo it sometimes but i love it about her. How often do we try to create that kind of passion in youth who are luke warm or complacent and here we go trying to water hers down. Why? It doesn't need to be diminished, only directed.
And Ashly, the polar opposite of Catherine. To get Ashley excited about anything is an accomplishment. She seems very sad all of the time, and there almsot seems to be an anger simmering underneath the surface. I feel like i do not even know where to begin to penetrate her heart. I know so little about anything that sets her heart on fire.
And Maci, adorable, lovable, passionate, talented, beautiful. She isn't passionless or misguided. She just seems uncomfortable with being a woman. Like she isn't quite sure if she is enough. She isn't angry like Ashley or overwhelming like Catherine. She is sweet and intelligent and hard to read. There is a quiet sadness about her i catch sometimes. She doesn't seemed controlled by it or overwhelmed. She just seems aware of her shortcomings and inadequcies. I want her to see that she is enough. That she is the apple of the creator's eye and adored. I don't think she feels that.
And then Ashley Forrester. She is quiet and meek and sweet. And sad. She always looks like she is afraid of something. Afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. She always seems very self-conscious and very unsure. Very afraid.
And then little Maria. She has the most beautiful smile. She is very sweet and compassionate. She also seems very afraid. She seems to feel awkward and not sure of her place anywhere. She doesn't hang off to the side or take center stage. She is just there. She always talks back to you but never begins a conversation. She participates without being completely involved. She seems to feel at a loss as to her place in the world.
These girls and there are so many more are the reason i show up every wednesday. I love the worship and the hang out time, but i go for them. I may not ever cross their minds but they are constantly on mine. I may never be in their dreams but they keep me awake at night wondering who they could be. i love them all dearly and pray for them because i believe in them.
Daddy, how in the world can i reach these girls with such vast and different needs and personalities? How can i get into their world and show them yours? What can i do for them? What do you want me to do for them? Help, please.
there are so many young ones in the youth group that tug at my heart. Girls like Catherine, Ashley Nix, Maci, Maria, Ashley Forester...they are young and seem filled with broken hearts, and hurts and fear. I see a little of myself in each of them and it brings me joy and brings me to tears at once. I long to help them through this time because i longed for someone to help me through mine. I am just at a loss as to how to help them. I pray for them and i try to spend intentional time with them individually and as a group, especially picking out the girls who seem to need extra attention.
I love Catherine in particular. She has so muchness to her. So much passion and energy and excitement. She can overdo it sometimes but i love it about her. How often do we try to create that kind of passion in youth who are luke warm or complacent and here we go trying to water hers down. Why? It doesn't need to be diminished, only directed.
And Ashly, the polar opposite of Catherine. To get Ashley excited about anything is an accomplishment. She seems very sad all of the time, and there almsot seems to be an anger simmering underneath the surface. I feel like i do not even know where to begin to penetrate her heart. I know so little about anything that sets her heart on fire.
And Maci, adorable, lovable, passionate, talented, beautiful. She isn't passionless or misguided. She just seems uncomfortable with being a woman. Like she isn't quite sure if she is enough. She isn't angry like Ashley or overwhelming like Catherine. She is sweet and intelligent and hard to read. There is a quiet sadness about her i catch sometimes. She doesn't seemed controlled by it or overwhelmed. She just seems aware of her shortcomings and inadequcies. I want her to see that she is enough. That she is the apple of the creator's eye and adored. I don't think she feels that.
And then Ashley Forrester. She is quiet and meek and sweet. And sad. She always looks like she is afraid of something. Afraid of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. She always seems very self-conscious and very unsure. Very afraid.
And then little Maria. She has the most beautiful smile. She is very sweet and compassionate. She also seems very afraid. She seems to feel awkward and not sure of her place anywhere. She doesn't hang off to the side or take center stage. She is just there. She always talks back to you but never begins a conversation. She participates without being completely involved. She seems to feel at a loss as to her place in the world.
These girls and there are so many more are the reason i show up every wednesday. I love the worship and the hang out time, but i go for them. I may not ever cross their minds but they are constantly on mine. I may never be in their dreams but they keep me awake at night wondering who they could be. i love them all dearly and pray for them because i believe in them.
Daddy, how in the world can i reach these girls with such vast and different needs and personalities? How can i get into their world and show them yours? What can i do for them? What do you want me to do for them? Help, please.
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