Brother.

Daddy my heart is hurting right now. I talked to Kirk a few minutes ago. He is so far from you Dad. Never a word of you comes from him only worldy things. And it makes me sad. He wants me to live with him daddy and part of me wants to. I could get a better job, save money, go to school for free, be with him...but then i would be far from Jordan. And i know i can't draw my life around his. We are bound to part ways eventually maybe even for good and this seems like such a perfect opportunity. But as much as i try to talk myself into leaving my heart cries at the thought of be seperated from Jordan. Even the thought of leaving makes me heart dig it's claws in. Nothing depresses more than the thought of being far from him. And so i am torn. Torn between the great opportunity and my love for this guy who doesn't want me. I am so confused. What do you want daddy? That is the only thing that really matters to me. Where do you want me? And if i am not meant for him why this ridiculous feelings of certainty and committment? I am begging you to reveal your will to me.