Oh Daddy, what am I supposed to do about all of this? I feel quite sure living with Kirk for a while is right. I feel like i have been preparing for this for a long time and i wasn't even aware i was being prepared for anything. I feel like Kirk needs me right now though. So I think despite all of the selfish desires within me I am going to have to put my life and wantd on hold for a while and be with my brother. It breaks my heart to think of leaving my church and friends, especially Jordan. I love him so much and we haven't been apart for more than a woeek for the last 2 years. I know he might very well be leaving in the fall as well, but it is still hard to leave him. I am still sure of him although i know that us not being a couple right now is right and the best thing for us, i feel very much in my heart that is is the man God chose long ago for me to marry. But all in God's time. Right now i think Kirk is my focus. So, i will keep lifting this up to You and I am going to ask some very dear friends to lift this up to You as well Daddy so when you get those prayers know that i warned You ahead of time :D Anyway I think i will go now. I will talk to you soon.