A Whole Bunch.

Dad, i have a lot on my mind right now so i hope you don't mind the rambling.
First of all, i am having a really, really, really hard time dealing with jealousy and selfishness right now. When they come up i try to find something else to think about. I listen to worship music or read my Bible, but sometimes they are so intense all i can do is cry. I need you more than before.
Also, i have been missing Jordan more lately. Especially the nights he doesn't call. I always seem to wake up sometime during the night and i see that he didn't call and i fall asleep sad. Which makes me dream sad things and so i wake up sad. But reading the Psalms today helped a little. I have never been able to understand them or relate to them as i can now.
Talking to Kirk yesterday made me sad too. I remember when our family had a worship and and how much music made him glow. It is such a huge passion of his. Even yesterday when i asked he what he liked to do most and he said if he could do anything he would travel and play music his whole life. It made me think of Jordan and his dream. The 2 guys i love the most share a dream.
And also i got offered a promotion of sorts today. it has good points and bad points. Should i take it? I only want to accept it if it is your will. So please reveal to me whether i should take it or not.
Kayla needs you a lot right now God. Her parents are smothering her i think and she is so sad and lonely. WIll you give her a hug for me until i can see her again?
Jessica w. is very sad also. I am not sure what is going on in her life. I don't know her very well and last night was the first time i have even seen her in months.
Jordan is in need of your wisdom daddy. He longs to know your will for him. He is so willing to follow it even when the cost is great. I hope i can be even a little more like him someday. He is the most compassionate guy i have ever known and i love him very much. Will you please show him the next step you have for him?
I think i am starting to ramble now so i will write more later. I know you have already taken care of everything i asked. So thank you for that. Thank you for giving me chance after chance. I love you.